GODLESS WEDNESDAY: Ricky Gervais

Ricky Gervais appears on the cover of New Humanist magazine where he is very explicit about his godlessness.

Here's a delightful excerpt from the interview but you should really go there and read the entire thing:

Did you lose your faith or never have any?

I used to believe in God. The Christian one, that is. (There are a few thousand to choose from. But I was born in a country where the dominant religion was Christianity so I believed in that one. Isn't it weird how that always happens?) Luckily I was also interested in science and nature. And reason and logic. And honesty and truth. And equality and fairness. By the age of eight I was an atheist. (That word shouldn’t even exist. It shouldn’t be needed. But it does. And it is.)

You studied philosophy at university – which philosophical idea has turned out to be most useful?

A few spring to mind. Bertrand Russell said, “No one gossips about other people’s secret virtues.” That became more profound once I’d become famous. Ha Ha. And I love “There is no god higher than truth” – Mahatma Gandhi.

I wish there were more celebrities were open and honest about their atheism or agnosticism.

White Trousers no go put me for trouble!

 

Dat morrin as I wan baff na so I dey put ear for dis babe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey tey and I know say before she go come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body go upstairs for her and oga room. E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and I be one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before I go continue my tori make I talk about my madam and oga dem.



My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurry into the kitchen, my baby would soon be back.”
And sometimes when I wash clothes and the ting still get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies are even clean”; and the annoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey look me one kain.

My Oga: He no too good, he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor, but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guy jus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no dey eye me o, na jus jeje all of us be for house.

Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey like wahala, na only to dey wish say one day I go be like my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the last one go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want again for this world?

So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as the ting fine for my body ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot the trouser na im I hear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for give me award. The door open and as I hear my oga voice dey talk with im phone, e be like say dem pour cold water for my body, wetin I go talk say I dey do for dia room?

“Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition taking place at the art gallery.”
I no know wetin the pesin reply am but I hear as im laff.
“No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to put you on the speaker because I want to take off my clothes”

Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come even mess on top.
“You are crazy men! Why would you fart like that with me on speaker?” The voice from the phone ask my oga.
“Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I can do whatever I want in my house. Moreover I am alone.”
Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cook dey make oga mess smell like this?
“Hey man, I’ve got to go. I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.”
My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I manage come outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back.

“So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!”
All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I bin hear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am. Make una helep me!
________
What to do, what to do?

This is a short story by Enoquin. Read more from her on Naijastories.
Vote for Naijastories to win $1000 towards our anthology at the World of Betters website.
 
 
Culled From http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/

PATRICE O'NEAL Dead at 41

Comedian Patrice O'Neal died Tuesday morning ... as a result of a stroke he suffered back in October ... this according to his friends at the "Opie and Anthony" radio show.

O'Neal had been a staple in the comedy world for years -- and performed at the "Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen" back in September.

O'Neal was a regular guest on the "Opie and Anthony" radio show -- and appeared on several TV shows such as "Chappelle Show," "The Office," and "Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn."

Opie just tweeted, "Yes it's true that our pal Patrice O'Neal has passed away. The funniest and best thinker I've ever known PERIOD."



Source: TMZ

Photo Of The Day...

Where on earth is our dear presido's eyes fixed on...you tell me...

What Is Wrong With This Pictures???

Continue reading to see more pictures

Can you actually say whats wrong in all this pictures????????? you have to look very well to observe them….

NDLEA Pumped Water Into My Anus - Baba Suwe

According to Baba Suwe, NDLEA guys pumpeed water into his anus....in his words he  said;

“The day after I was granted bail (Wednesday), they just came at about 9 am and took me to a hospital in Victoria Island. When we got to the hospital, they put something in my mouth and another in my anus.“They now pumped water into my anus. After they pumped water into my anus I started defecating.“I defecated again several times on getting to their office.”

Meanwhile, his lawyers are also insisting on suing NDLEA, they said

"They would do more than apologise. Heads must roll in the organisation. They better start to look for other jobs. It is as simple as that ... They kept him for 24 days without getting any evidence and that in itself constitutes a very gross violation of our constitution. You can’t arrest a person for this long period without evidence.”

Hmmmm oya lets go there...Baba Suwe versus NDLEA who will win???????????????

Baba Suwe Granted Bail Today + VIDEO

Baba Suwe was today granted bail inthe sum of N500,000 and the court gave NDLEA till friday to either make him excrete the drugs or allow him go...Oh my God what have they done to this man, he is really a shadow of his former self...I pray everything ends fine.

Watch the video below..

Picture Of The Day.

This one no be small toasting...its good to be pretty, cos every tom dick and harry will admire u ooo...ok make i go join the trend.

Baba Suwe Is Using High Level Black Magic On Us" - NDLEA Officials

CONTROVERSY continues to trail the arrest of popular home video actor cum comedian, Babatunde Nurudeen Omidina, popularly called Baba Suwe.

Though, the anti-drug scanning machine at the airport which screened Baba Suwe detected some drugs hidden in his stomach leading to his arrest and eventual detention by the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA)....

The popular comedian has excreted three times but no traces of hard drugs were found in his excreta on the three occasions. This led to outcries from members of the public especially Baba Suwe’s colleagues in the Yoruba genre of Nollywood calling for the release of the comedian. His lawyers have even slammed a N100 million suit on the anti-drug agency.

However, the controversy deepens last Friday when a Lagos High Court gave the NDLEA authority to hold on to the comedian for 15 more days. This was sequel to the new discovery by a CT scan conducted on the actor which revealed that indeed there are drugs logged his body....







The raging controversy has been whether it is true that the actor has some drugs in his body. Many are of the belief that if indeed Baba Suwe has drugs in his body, he could have health problems since he was arrested. “If indeed he has hard drugs in his body, he should have died since,” Sade Oloriebi, an actress stated.

But the NDLEA would not have none of this. According to the anti-drug agency, Baba Suwe’s case is not isolated as there have been similar cases in the past. “In fact we have had cases where the accused raised curses on us after excreting three times but no drugs were discovered on them. However, after CT scans were carried out on them and drugs were discovered, they ate humble pie,” an official of NDLEA said.

Another controversy introduced into the matter now was the issue of juju popularly called Africa Magic. “There was no doubt about it. He was carrying drugs but we know he is powerful spiritually. The drugs may have disappeared through juju. The machine actually detected drugs in his system,” an official of NDLEA at the Airport disclosed.

Another NDLEA official corroborated his colleague’s claim. “Our machine detected it at the Airport, people said we are telling lies that we are just witch hunting him now that the CT scan conducted at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH) has confirmed drugs in his body again what will people say? The fact remains that this man is using high level juju on us,” he said.

For those who are bringing in the juju angle, they pointed to the actor’s different postures as the drama unfolds. When he was first arrested, it was discovered that Baba Suwe was a little bit jittery. But as event unfolds, he started regaining his confidence leading to the show of support by his colleagues. He was even reported to have boasted to close friend and colleague, Jide Kosoko that even if he was asked to excrete 1000 times, they wont find anything on him....

Funny Conversation Between Abacha And Ghadaffi Surfaces Online.

ABACHA - how nah?

GHADAFI - Oboy, I dey ooo

ABACHA - U come late ooo

GHADAFI - Aboki, I tried to gather more cash

ABACHA - U fuck up

GHADAFI - Hw?

ABACHA - U don collect so much, even ...pass my own, u for take off when the yawa gass.

GHADAFI - I no know nah. U know say power and money dey sweet. I thought I had it all to quench any opposition.

ABACHA - When those Obama people don join? I dey craze. Anyway, welcome, we go try next time. We don learn. U go go naija while I go libya since u r not that skillful. U know see say my people no talk until that babe carry her winch come...

GHADAFI - Pls u go teach me well.

ABACHA - But u no try well, I stole about $150B in 5 yrs and u stole $200B in 42 yrs. U be mumu. If na me, I for buy one country join naija!.....


Hahahaha real comics..anyways where are they now??????????????????????

New Video -Happy Birthday By Koffi

The music Happy Birthday by Koffi is one of those in his latest album Root & Roll..Hope you enjoy it as much as i do...

Pictures Of AY And Family.

Pls continue to see more pictures...really cute family...I love em.

PICTURE Of Baba Suwe's Expensive Sh*t

Na waa ooo why will PM NEWS publish this type of picture.....dont this man have a right to his privacy since his still a suspect...anyways if you missed our first story on his ordeal the day he was arrested, click here  pls continue to read the full story.





The National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA, may have started singing a new song on why they have detained ace comedian, Baba Suwe, for nine days now, according to an online report published early today.
The report quoted Mitchell Ofoyeju, NDLEA Head of Public Affairs, as saying that the drug suspicion was concocted by the media and not the agency.
“We have never told anybody that he carried drugs in his body. Baba Suwe is under observation just like it has been the case with every other suspected Nigerian passengers, the law is no respecter of anybody, we don’t want to speculate about anything and we will make a comprehensive press conference on the case after we conclude our investigation.

“We are still investigating the case; we’ll address the press as soon as we conclude our investigation on the matter. We are not going to say anything until we conclude our investigations. Like I said before, we have never said Baba Suwe was arrested for drug, it is the media that are writing this, we never said he was arrested for drug,” Ofoyeju told www.huhuonline.com.

When P.M.NEWS contacted him today on this volte face by the NDLEA, Ofoyeju said: “We reasonably suspect him and we are investigating him. But he is innocent.”
Ofoyeju had issued many press statements in which he said that Baba Suwe was being held on drug suspicion.

Video Of The Day!!!

Kids today. They think the world revolves around them, that texting trumps face-to-face conversations and that print magazines are actually iPads.
Say what? Well, about that last part: While there are apocryphal stories about toddlers trying to activate their TVs by touching their screens, the same apparently holds true for non-electric objects. As this video demonstrates, to a 1-year-old, Apple‘s iPad is something that’s literally been around all of their lives.
So rather than be amazed at all the things an iPad can do, this child is confounded by what a paper magazine cannot do. Makes sense, right????

Popular Comedian Arrested For Trafficking Cocaine.

Nollywood comic actor, Alhaji King Babatunde Ayinla Nurudeen Olasunkanmi Omidina, popularly known as Baba Suwe, has been arrested by the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency, NDLEA, with substances suspected to be hard drugs concealed in his stomach

.
Na waa ooooo, after all this publicity and it turns out this dude is innocent, i wonder what will happen?????????????????????

Baba Suwe was apprehended last night at the Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos, southwest Nigeria, by NDLEA officials as he attempted to board an Air France flight to Paris, France.

According to NDLEA sources, he was on his way to Paris to act as a master of ceremony in a naming ceremony of an Air France staff scheduled for Saturday.

The Air France staff (name withheld) has also been arrested, according to NDLEA sources.

Baba Suwe went through the scanning machine at the airport and substances suspected to be drugs were seen hidden in his stomach, NDLEA sources said this morning.

Sources said he is under observation pending the time he will start excreting the drugs.

After he was arrested, sources said, he denied that he swallowed the drugs, until he went through the scanner. He could not however explain the white substances seen in his stomach.

Baba Suwe is a very successful and popular Yoruba actor in Nollywood, famous for his comedy roles in Yoruba movies, was born on 22 August 1958. He speaks fluent English.

In January 2005, he received an award from the African Artists and Entertainers Afro-Hollywood Award in New York which is like the African Grammy.

His favourite type of music and musicians are reggae music – Bob Marley, Yellowman and classic Stevie Wonder.




Source: Pmnews.

Pictures From Koffi's Comedy Night Live Launch

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