PICTURE Of The Day: President Obama Playing Football Shirtless

The president was on vacation at Hawaii with his family and he decided to have fun with his friends....Am still waiting for the day, we'll see Goodluck Jonathan, Obasanjo, Babaingida, Atiku and co shirtless anyways fear of Nigerian artists, is the begining of wisdom.

Clever Thief Steals 42 Inch LG Plasma TV *VIDEO*

I watched this video and I laughed my ass off when I realized how he stole the TV. I am not sure if this is legit thief or a promotional spoof, but regardless of what it is, this video and this "thief" needs to be commended on a job well done.
As a social media expert I must say, if this was a marketing gimmick it deserves to go viral and gain all the attention it is aiming for because it represents the product perfectly.
Enjoy this video!

Oklahoma Mother Kills Intruder Breaking Into Her Home While on Phone With 911

This woman shot a 24 year old intruder while on phone with the police and funny how the police are justifying her actions....Watch the video!

My Wife Wants To Kill Me With Sex- Man Tells Judge

A 39-year-old cobbler, Daniel Olufumilayo, has accused his wife of plotting to kill him with sex in order to inherit his property. He said his wife usually demanded as many as eight rounds of sex before the break of dawn. The divorce-seeking father of two stated this in a divorce suit he filed against his wife at an Agege Customary Court, Lagos, Southwest Nigeria.

He told the court that his wife is so crazy about sex to the extent that she always demanded for seven or eight rounds of it every night. He added that in his entire life, he has never met a woman like his wife when it comes to hunger for sex.“My wife can never be satisfied sexually. Her plan was to kill me with her excessive demand for sex so that she can inherit my property,” he said.



The cobbler claimed that when he could not satisfy her sexually, he had to send her packing so that she can marry another man of her choice.

He also alleged that his wife made his children hawk sachet water and sweets for her on busy roads.
Responding to the allegations levelled against her by her husband as regards her outrageous demand for sex,
Zainab said: “Afterall, he could not accuse me of infidelity. I am not a flirt. If he accused me of being a nymphomaniac, it is his headache.
“Sex in marriage is my conjugal right which I think every responsible man must preserve and protect and if I demanded for as much as I want, I have not done anything wrong.”
The petty trader said that she did not know what came over her husband, when he suddenly asked her to pack out of their matrimonial home after the naming ceremony of their last child.
According to her, “Olufumilayo ordered me to vacate our matrimonial home after I gave birth to our last child even though I did not offend him in any way.”
Zainab told the court further that she had to re-marry when, after waiting for two years, hoping that her husband would have a change of mind following efforts by her parents to resolve the matter amicably and reconcile them, failed.
The court, after listening to both parties, dissolved the union, adding that the marital relationship between the estranged couple had broken down completely.

Culled from : PM News

Man Murders Prostitute on Christmas Eve After Finding Out She Was a "MAN"

A Kansas City man confessed to police he murdered a prostitute in a rage after finding out she was really a man. Kenyan L. Jones, 26, faces charges of second-degree murder and armed criminal action in the shooting death of Darnell D. Pearson, 31.

He told police he picked up the prostitute on Christmas Eve and paid to have sexual relations with her, believing she was a woman.

Several hours later Jones became aware the prostitute was actually a man, he left him to get a handgun before finding Mr Pearson in a different area of town and 'popped him'.

Police said they found the 31-year-old's body just before midnight after an eye witness called 911 and told dispatchers he saw a man in a hoodie running from the scene.

According to The Kansas City Star, they arrested him and found a handgun, hoodie and cellphone with video images of Jones on it a short distance away.

Zimbabwean Man Forced to Marry Goat He “Sexually Abused”

A CHIRUMHANZU man appealed to police for help after being ordered to pay lobola and marry a goat he was allegedly seen having sex with.

According to The Chronicle newspaper, the 34 year-old was caught sexually abusing the goat last Wednesday night by theanimal’s owners.

The Sithole family is said to have assaulted him before dumping the animal at his homestead and demanding lobola....hahahahah continue reading dearie, serves him right.


“This was not the first time that Dziva has been caught red-handed being intimate with the neighbour's goats,” a local villager told the newspaper.

“He however, got himself into trouble this time when the Sithole family then decided to dump their goat his home. They are demanding that he pays lobola and take the goat as his wife.”
Negotiations between the two families to resolve the issue collapsed, forcing Dziva to appeal to local police for help.

Offers at the Mvuma police station referred the matter to the local chief.
Dziva admitted being found in the Sithole family’s goats’ pen but dismissed allegations he had been intimate with the animal.

“It’s only suspicion, I was not caught red-handed but they (Sithole family) claim that their goat is pregnant and they are demanding that I pay for that,” he told the newspaper.
“If they found me in there (goat pen), does that mean I was being intimate with their goat?”
A local headman said the matter had since been referred to the area’s chief.

Evolution Of Dance.

Can't help but agree with this... Dance steps has really gone through this different stages. Probably in years to come, girls will soon dance on guys heads lol.

Five Years Imprisonment If You Yab First Lady Again

Am hearing gist, that the Federal Government of Nigeria has passed a new law in the country making it a criminal offense to "diss (yarb) the first lady of the federation, Patience Jonathan.


This report is as a result of the disrespectful reactions from Nigerians in response to the "Vocabulary Missiles" unleashed from the First lady.

The Law which was called "Patience Law" says any one who says anything bad about the first lady's grammar would face five years imprisonment.

The info went further to say a spokesman for the lawmakers said: "Some people just have no respect for their elders. They keep attacking this poor woman in an attempt to stain the character of her husband, our dear president. But all that will end now. With this new law we have passed today, anyone who dares to insult the first-lady will face a five year jail term."

Hmmmm ok oooo until then....In this our naija, na lie joor.

Jesus and the Burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.' He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.' Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. 'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot. 'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.' The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?' 'Moses,' replied the bird. 'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?' 'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

White Trousers no go put me for trouble!

 

Dat morrin as I wan baff na so I dey put ear for dis babe music, Omawunmi, dat song wey she sing say, ‘If you ask me, na who I go ask?’ My madam don comot tey tey and I know say before she go come back e go still tey, so I say before I baff make I carry my body go upstairs for her and oga room. E get one fine white trouser wey she buy and I be one go taste am because I hear say person yansh dey come out well well for white trouser especially if you no wear pant or you wear g-string. Before I go continue my tori make I talk about my madam and oga dem.



My Madam: She no too good, she no too bad. Sometimes when I go market come back late, she no go even send me. She go just talk say, “Ehen, I know you went to see your boyfriend. Thank God you didn’t stay too long. Now hurry into the kitchen, my baby would soon be back.”
And sometimes when I wash clothes and the ting still get small stain, she go talk say, “You are too dirty Mary, sometimes I wonder if your undies are even clean”; and the annoying ting be say na infront of oga she go shout the whole ting so tey my oga come dey look me one kain.

My Oga: He no too good, he no too bad. Na to dey blow grammer up and down like say im be professor, but I hear say im no even finish unifersity say as im papa die, d guy jus use im papa money push im business so tey the business come grow yakata, now my oga na big man. The man no dey eye me o, na jus jeje all of us be for house.

Myself: Eferibodi know say I be cool babe. I no dey like wahala, na only to dey wish say one day I go be like my madam. I go get housemaid full ground. One go dey wash my clothes, another one go dey iron my clothes, another one go dey cook my food and the last one go dey go market, abi wetin man pickin want again for this world?

So make I continue my tori. As I enter dem madam room, I jus go straight to the wardrobe because I no wan waste time. I rush comot my wrapper, come wear the trouser. Omo men, if you see as the ting fine for my body ehn, you go wan tief me! Na as I dey comot the trouser na im I hear person dey come the room side. Omo, see as I dive enter the wardrobe, even Jackie Chan for give me award. The door open and as I hear my oga voice dey talk with im phone, e be like say dem pour cold water for my body, wetin I go talk say I dey do for dia room?

“Yes, it’s fine. I was thinking we could go for that art exhibition taking place at the art gallery.”
I no know wetin the pesin reply am but I hear as im laff.
“No, Tunde. I am married and you know I wouldn’t stray. If you bring that lady over to the exhibition, I may persuade wifey to come with me and that could be quite unpleasant for the lady and yourself. Quit trying to make me fall man, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt my wife. Look I’m going to put you on the speaker because I want to take off my clothes”

Chei, Oga abeg no comot your cloth, abeg! God where you dey? But e be like say even God dey use me play as my oga comot im cloth finish come even mess on top.
“You are crazy men! Why would you fart like that with me on speaker?” The voice from the phone ask my oga.
“Really, that’s a ridiculous question. I can do whatever I want in my house. Moreover I am alone.”
Abeg Oga you no dey alone o, no mess again abeg. Kai! The mess smell no be small. Shey na de food wey I dey cook dey make oga mess smell like this?
“Hey man, I’ve got to go. I want to have my bath and freshen up before wifey comes home. We’ll talk later.”
My oga cut the call come enter bathroom. I manage come outside as I say make I look for my wrapper wey I throw inside wardrobe wen oga dey come, na im one big abarra land for my back.

“So this is what you and my husband do, when I am not around?!”
All my body shock and piss nearly comot as I bin hear madam voice for my back. Una don forget say I no wear pant and my yansh jus chook outside as I bin wan bend down carry my wrapper. As I turn face madam, I jus weak because I know no how I wan take talk am. Make una helep me!
________
What to do, what to do?

This is a short story by Enoquin. Read more from her on Naijastories.
Vote for Naijastories to win $1000 towards our anthology at the World of Betters website.
 
 
Culled From http://www.mynewhitmanwrites.com/

Peeping Tom’ Sent To Prison; For Watching Couple Having Sex

A man who hid in a couple’s bedroom at Idimu, Lagos State, southwest Nigeria watching them having sex in the night has confessed that he was not a thief neither did he attempted to harm the couple but only watching them to derive sexual satisfaction

The accused, Raymond Obi Eze, 36 was caught under the bed by the man of the house, Mr. Leuise Chigozi who called his wife, Vicky, to come and see what he found.....Nawaa ooo na so the thing dey do am???? Continue reading jare.


An attempt by the accused to escape was foiled by the man who grabbed him and called neighbours to assist him arrest the intruder. Vicky, it was learnt, sustained injury during the melee.

He was arrested and handed over to the police at Idimu Station who arraigned him before the Ejigbo Magistrates’ Court, Lagos on a two-count charge of unlawful entry and attempted murder.

The police charge sheet revealed that the incident happened at 8.30 p.m. Friday, 9 December, at 40, Ejigbo Road, Idimu, Lagos residence of the couple.

The charge did not reveal how the accused got into the room but disclosed that he was caught by the owner of the house who raised an alarm which attracted neighbours.

The complainant told the police that he caught him under the bed while sleeping with his wife.
Witnesses who assisted the couple to arrest the accused told the police that they believed what the complainant told them that the accused was watching him and his wife making love.

In his statement, Mr. Chigozi told the police that he was injured in the face when he grabbed the accused to prevent him from escaping.

At the station, the accused denied that he was a thief and pleaded for leniency. He allegedly confessed that he was only watching the couple and did not attempt to harm them.

He was later charged before Mrs. M. B. Folami of the Ejigbo Magistrates’ Court for offences contrary to Section 320 of the Criminal Code, Cap.17, Vol. 2, Laws of Lagos State of Nigeria, 2003. He pleaded not guilty to the charges and was granted bail in the sum of N100, 000 with two sureties in like sum. When he could not fulfil the bail conditions, he was ordered to be remanded in prison custody at the Kirikiri Maximum Security Prisons, Apapa, Lagos.

The matter has been adjourned till 18 January, 2012

Wow Such Cuties!!!

The owners, who will keep one of the puppies, are inviting people to give the remaining 14 a loving home.
They are also looking to name the puppies after fairytale characters which begin with the letter R but could do with some ideas.
Ms White said: 'We’ve named the smallest pup Rosie but we would love some help on naming the others.

'

Joke Of The Day!!!

OBASANJO, IBB & JONATHAN were in a plane. OBJ Said, i can throw N1000 note down & make some1 happy. IBB said I can throw 2 N500 notes & make 2pple happy. JONATHAN said i can throw 5 N200 notes & make 5pple happy. the PILOT heard them & said 2 himself "idiots" I can throw 3 of u down & make 150 million people happy in NIGERIA.

Hahahaahahaha no bi me talk am ooooo. I know your smiling. Do have a nice day Jare.

Bin Laden bread a hit for Malawi bakers

Naming a product after the world's most notorious terrorist may not seem like a surefire route to commercial success.
For bakers in the Malawian city of Blantyre, however, this marketing ploy is helping to reel in customers while ensuring that their produce has an unmistakeable identity.

"We make bin Laden buns," said Mahomed Hanif Valimamade, co-owner of a patisserie within the city named the Portuguese Bakery.

The standard bread rolls -- which are not exclusive to any one company and are produced by a variety of outlets in Blantyre -- were initially given their unconventional moniker by customers who likened their appearance to similar bread made in the Middle East, says Valimamade.

The tag quickly caught on, and when businesses realized how their products were being identified, they began to label them as such, to great effect.

On a good day, Valimamade claims, small bakeries like his own can sell as many as 2,000 "bin Ladens," adding that a large part of what makes them stand out is their attention-grabbing title.

He is quick to point out, however, that the name has nothing to do with an admiration for or expression of solidarity with the now-deceased al Qaeda figurehead.

"The majority of people like this name," Valimamade explained. "It seems to me this is nothing to do with politics. Malawian people are very pro-Western."

Photo Of The Day...

Where on earth is our dear presido's eyes fixed on...you tell me...

PICTURE Of The Day.

This looks funny init...its a gay wedding in Nigeria...dont think i would ever attend such cos nothing interests me by looking at them..but wait a minute that didnt happen..It was from a set of a new movie which would soon be released.

GOH.....Are These Buildings That Tall?????

They don't call them skyscrapers for nothing.
Some of the world's tallest buildings emerge from thick clouds in these incredible images that look as if they have been beamed from another world.
Somewhat surprisingly, given its reputation as a sun-kissed destination, the photos were taken high above Dubai

PIC Of The Day

Guess who they are??????? Can you…. To find out click read more below.





They are Choc Boiz Soilders   MI, Iceprince, Brymo and Jesse Jagz.

FUNNY VIDEO: Why 70% Of Black Women Are Single (Funny But True)

This is so true i ope girls learn from this....

Lady Injected with Cement & Super Glue during a Booty enlargement Procedure

 
A fake cosmetic surgeon set up shop in Miami Gardens, Florida, then proceeded to inject everything he could mix into his patient's rear ends. 30-year old transgender woman, Oneal Ron Morris, is accused of injecting cement, mineral oils and fix-a-flat into the buttocks of at least one woman. He then sealed the incision with super glue….WTF SUPER GLUE????? The not-yet-identified victim became seriously ill, and had to be hospitalized with a staph infection (MRSA) and pneumonia.

This cocktail of chemicals went into her body and caused her terrific pain," said Sgt. Bill Bamford.
Morris, who also injected himself with the chemicals has been arrested and charged with practicing medicine without a license and causing bodily harm.

The victim in the case paid $700 for the procedure and is lucky to be alive…Can you believe the lady in the picture above is the accused male??

I know I aint got an ass..am slim like broom but if this is the type of ass am gonna get if I inject those chemicals, hell no I better be me afterall dudes love me like this…*winks* *smiles* Yeah I love being me…